


Dinner

by martina_y



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Cannibalism, Castration, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4298334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martina_y/pseuds/martina_y
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He should have known something was awfully wrong as soon as Ramsay walked in smiling at him, and the smell of freshly roasted meat filled the room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Three nights ago" = When the castration happened

He should have known something was awfully wrong as soon as Ramsay walked in smiling at him, and the smell of freshly roasted meat filled the room. _He thought it smelled so good_. A part of him even hoped to have a taste, though he assumed Ramsay just brought the plate in to mock him.

The jape was on Ramsay, though. There was nothing he could do anymore that could touch Theon. Not after three nights ago. There was nothing left for Theon to lose. In a way, it was morbidly comforting. Theon's small victory over Ramsay. A bitter victory, but a victory nevertheless. He had already decided to calmly wait for his death. It should be coming soon too, after all the starvation and the blood loss. Especially the blood loss from three nights ago. If he was being honest, Theon was not even sure how he was still alive.

“I wanted to wait for you to recover a bit more, but the cooks voiced their concerns about the possibility of the meat spoiling.“ Ramsay stared at the plate for a moment as if he was worried that it might fall apart and start rotting right then and there. “I’m sure you’ll agree I made a wise choice in letting them prepare it now. Though to be honest, I do think they were a bit too paranoid. No meat can go terribly bad in three days.“

It took a moment, and then another, for Theon to realise he wasn’t breathing. _No. That was impossible._ He decided it was a lie. It had to be. Another jape. He locked his eyes with Ramsay’s, looking for proof of his hopes, but there was nothing there except a lingering glint of a smile.

Theon wasn’t sure what kind of expression he had on his face but it must have pleased Ramsay as he abandoned the plate on the table and approached Theon on his cross. Uncomfortably close now, Ramsay ran his hand through Theon’s har, pulling it back slightly.

“You had a good length on you. Bet it made girls wince in pain, all gasping under your weight,”. He stared at Theon for a second too long. “Did you enjoy that?”

 _He did sometimes_. Theon shook his head. It didn't matter what Ramsay said. There was no way any of this was happening anyway.

“Oh but you must have enjoyed their tightness. Tightening around you, wet but not enough for it to be too easy.”

The combination of Ramsay’s voice too close to his ear and the smell of meat heavy in the air around them, made Theon feel sick. His jaw clenched as he tried to hold back tears. Unsuccessfully.

Ramsay smiled.

“I’m sorry. I thought the memory would brighten your mood, but I guess not. Perhaps you didn’t enjoy it as much because you wanted to find yourself in the place of those girls? Don’t worry Reek”, Ramsay gave him a conspiratory look, “you can be my girl sometime.”

His “But not right now“, was like a cool relief on the heat of Theon’s panic. “We should eat now or the food will get cold.“

Something was stuck in Theon’s throat. He couldn’t breathe. He tried to inhale but instead a weak choking sound escaped him. His skin felt frozen, then everything felt much too hot again. The muscles in his arms twitched involuntarily, but he could not close his hands into fists when he tried to put in conscious effort. It's not real. _It's not real, he's lying_. The words echoed in his head, inverted. _It's real, he's not lying_.

Ramsay seemed to pay no attention to the not so quiet struggle going on behind him, as he turned away from Theon and walked back to the table, slowly grabbing the cutlery. His back was still turned, making it impossible for Theon to see the plate and its contents. He stood still for a moment. The clattering sound Theon’s teeth made as his jaw couldn’t stop shaking. His chopped up breath. Dragging of the blade over the porcelain of the plate. A pause in sound while Ramsay’s left hand, the hand holding the fork, moved slightly. A dulled sound of the fork hitting the plate.

Ramsay spun around, holding up the fork a bit too theatrically. He made his way towards Theon.  
_No. No no no no no._

“You haven't eaten in a while Reek. Why don’t you have a bite?”


	2. First piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ramsay relieves Theon's hunger. Theon is mortified.

“Reek”, if there was any patience in his voice, Ramsay made a point of it running out now. “When I phrased that as a question I was just being polite. I know you’re quite stupid, but I’m sure you can understand how denying to taste my food would be an insult to my cooks? To me?”, his voice trailed off, “To my house?”

Theon did not move. A remote part of his mind assured him it would all be fine if he was very quiet, still, nonexistent; but he breathed too loudly, and he couldn’t stop shivering against the hard wood of the cross.

“Reek”, if the loss of patience in his voice was faked before it became chillingly real now. “You will eat this piece that I prepared for you, or I will make you regret it.”

Everything was very slow and distant. Theon focused on Ramsay’s boot. Oddly enough, it seemed to be the least threatening part of him for the moment. “I have to eat it?”

“Yes. You do.” Ramsay’s voice was almost gentle now, as if he was talking to a child. “I trust you will make the right choice, Reek. You haven’t eaten in over a week now, and I’m sure you would like to have something to eat. It confuses me when you are like this, you see. It’s like you reject every act of kindness that comes from me. Do you want me to hurt you more? Is that why you are being so disobedient?”

Theon frantically shook his head. “I’m not..“ He inhaled and tried again - “I just..“ He couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at Ramsay anymore so he just looked down. He knew now was the time to think of the right answer but he didn’t know what the right answer was and, no, he did know what the right answer was but he didn’t _want_ to think of it.  
He was in the middle of shifting his focus between reality and the flood of thoughts in his head when Ramsay slapped him. One of Theon’s looser teeth seemed to loosen up a bit more since the slap hurt more than it should have.

“I hate to be kept waiting, and you should know better than to waste my time with your gutless stuttering.“ Ramsay lifted the fork up to Theon’s face and his voice suddenly lowered down to a barely audible threat, “Open your fucking mouth.“

And Theon did. He gagged before the meat even reached his lips, and then felt as if he might vomit immediately as soon as it stopped on his tongue. But he didn’t. _There’s nothing to vomit_.   
Ramsay watched the way his lips closed with obvious effort and the way his cheeks shook holding back nausea. He smiled wide again, “Now, see. Was that so hard?“ He turned away before Theon could shake his head.

The idea of actually chewing his bite seemed impossible to Theon. He couldn’t let it touch any part of his mouth unless it was absolutely necessary. And some contact was necessary. He knew how angry Ramsay would get if he spat the food out.

He couldn’t make Ramsay angry. Not after this. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was to ever believe for a second that there was no type of torture left for Ramsay to think of. Stupid. Stupid. Weak. Stupid.

He swallowed the piece whole.


	3. Meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dragging of the plate against the wood of the table. The clatter of the fork and knife. Rat feet scrambling in the corners and accross the floor. Sound was good. Anything was better than the taste in his mouth.

The dragging of the plate against the wood of the table. The clatter of the fork and knife. Rat feet scrambling in the corners and accross the floor. Sound was good. Anything was better than the taste in his mouth. On the other end of the room, Ramsay ate with his mouth open. The sound of his wet chewing. Theon cringed.

“It tastes quite burnt, actually”, Ramsay made a sour face, “I think I’ll have Ben throw it to the girls”

He looked up at Theon and grinned - “It’s bad manners to throw food away.”

He fiddled with the cutlery for a while longer, then walked somewhere behind Theon, making more noise. Theon wanted to look down, or anywhere else, just look away, but it was as if he was hypnotized. The bastard left it right there, in plain sight. If the nature of the meat was unknown it could almost pass as benign. It smelled like regular meat. So much so that it made Theon’s mouth water. His throat clenched in disgust at himself.

Ramsay soundlessly returned, studying Theon’s expression. “Then again, since I want to feed hungry dogs, I might as well give it to you. I’m feeling generous today.“

“Please..“ It was supposed to be a protest. “Please, I..“ _I can’t_. “Please“  
He was crying again.

And he was crying still when Ramsay cut the ropes attaching his hands and ankless to the cross. Theon fell knees first on the ground just to be pulled up again by Ramsay. As he was dragged towards the table, pain flashed in his groin area, again, and again, leaving his mouth gaping open in the shape of a silent scream as tears ran down his face.

Ramsay handed the fork and the content on it to Theon, placing it into his hand. Theon thought for a moment that he might drop it, his hands felt so weak. One glance at Ramsay’s face made him think better of it.

“Go on.”

Theon felt his throat clenching again.  _Maybe if he didn’t think about it_. He raised the meat to his lips.  _It was impossible not to think about it_.

“Go on, Reek. I haven’t got the whole day.” There was a threat of violence in his voice. Theon opened his mouth.

He tried not to inhale as he lowered the meat onto his tongue. That was a trick he learned when he was a child. Rodrik and Maron often made him try all kinds of disgusting things but as long as he didn’t smell them before biting down, they wouldn’t taste so bad.

“Wait.”

Theon froze, his mouth only half closed.

“Suck on it.”

Theon’s “Suck?” came out as incoherent mumbling as his mouth was still full. And there it was. He inhaled.

“Yes, suck on it. I trust I don’t need to be explaining what that means to you?”

Theon’s eyes stung. He blinked the new tears away and closed his lips around the meat, slowly pushing it further into his mouth. He closed his eyes. It didn't matter. It didn't matter if he did these things. It just meant Ramsay would leave him alone. There was no other choice but to obey, he could see that now.

“Further.”

It was at the back of his throat now. Theon opened his eyes just to close them shut again at the sight of Ramsay’s wet smile, oozing with arousal. What he couldn’t block out was the way Ramsay’s breathing grew heavier, and the way his exhales were almost grunts.

“Further.”

Theon gagged. He immediately tried to pull it out, but Ramsay’s hand closed around his wrist, keeping it in place.

“Now bite it off.” Theon tried to look at him, his eyes sending a silent plea for mercy, but it was fruitless.

His mouth was full now, it was difficult to chew, and several of his teeth were protesting heavily. For a moment, he thought he would choke. He gagged again.

Nothing was worse, however, from the taste. _It tasted so good._

Sudenly his head was jerked back. He felt Ramsay’s fingers in his hair, painful, rough.

“You do see it, don’t you?” There was a poorly hidden sense of pride in his voice. “All you are now is meat.”


End file.
